I hate my life and want to die....



My life is an emotionless void, with no noticable highs or lows. I float through my sad existance hoping desperately that someone, anyone will notice the beautiful flower that is me. That is why I wear all black. Black make-up, lipstick, and even nail polish. Someone will see me eventually.
All the stupid jocks at school think they are better than me just because they can play 'sports'. Well who cares about sports anyways. I spend my free time writing poetry. Poetry is the only medium that can truely express the anguish of my menial life.

heres one:

"i lay here
thinking of you
with nothing
better to do

life is meaningless
because i'm alone
i have no one
to bone

i cut myself
to feel alive
how much longer
can i survive?"

I call it "no one to bone". I think it will get published soon. I have over 200 more that are almost as good too. My mom says i am a genius, but i think she is just patronizing me. She just wants me to become one of those stupid happy people who wear colorful stuff and don't cut themselves on purpose. But i know they live in a delusional fantasyland, my new nine inch nails cd opened my eyes to their ignorance. I now realise that i am completely meaningless and the only way I can show the world my insignificance is complete and utter apathy.

People say i am fat and ugly, and i smell really bad, but they don't understand I am fat as a protest against 'beautiful society'. I am beautiful because I think I'm beautiful, not because society says so. And i Don't smell bad, I smell natural. Soap and deoderant are for looser conformists (toilet paper too). I like how i smell.

Last night my mom caught me masturbating while listening to my new nine inch nails cd, cutting myself, and writing more poetry. I thought she would be upset, but after the initial shock wore off, she seemed impressed with my ability to multitask so well. I am going to write a poem about it tommorow, if i dont kill myself first.


Gothy Mcfattington  ¶ 6:03 PM