Sunday, August 27, 2006
The 'war' on drugs?
I haven't heard a lot about 'the war on drugs' as of late. People seem to be preoccupied with "more important" wars. But who really cares what is going in in Iraq, or Iran or wherever? I say, let the states terrorize whoever they want AFTER they have eliminated the marijuana problem. I dont think people realize how big this problem really is. Our youth are being corrupted and de-moralized by this horrible substance.
When 'high' (or stoned, as some drug abusers like to call it) the tactile, saporine, and olfactory senses are greatly heightened. Think for a moment of the potential trouble this could cause in the typical substance abuser. Lets start with the tactile senses. The marijuana user starts to notice textures more than usual and is physically stimulated by almost anything he touches. This often leads to the inapropriate physical contact between two or more offenders that can even lead to sexual feelings. And while the term 'sexual healing' is common among such circles, I can assure you no medical healing is taking place. These people are seeking the most selfish of sexual release, and due to the drug in question, that pleasure is not only greatly hightened, but also prolonged. This kind of super-sexual experience can easily lead to the kind of sexual addiction that is plaquing our youth.
What happened to the good old days (the 50`s) when people understood that sexual contact is simple evil manifesting itself in it's most decadant form. Back the people understood that sex could kill you, and even the most innocent kiss could impregnate young girls ruining their chance to ever find a decent husband. In the 50's, people didn't smoke marijuana, which allowed them to live a lifestyle based on good christian morals (chastity, obediance, and weekly church-based 'reeducation'). I believe when we abolish marijuana, we will be able to recreate the perfection of the 50's. Men will wear suits and hats (of the bowler or fedora variety) and women will wear non-revealing dresses (except when cooking dinner, where they will be naked and bare-foot).
But I digress, building a perfect society if a lofty task which must wait until the drug problem is solved in North America and George Bush Jr. is 'elected' Emperor of the world. So, let us get back to the way in which marijuana corrupts or saporine sense. The many tastes and textures of food are often taken for granted by the upstanding citezen (and they should be), but the drug abuser is a different story. They use words like connoisseur, aficionado, and gourmet. I use the word 'glutton'. These people develop such an 'appreciation' for eclectic foods that they start to think they are superior to those who enjoy good ol' meat and potatoes on a nightly basis. They can even become confused as to their own ethnicity and eat food from China, Thailand, or even Japan!!. Now i have to pose the question: what kind of terrorist would rather eat food from Asia over a hearty American classic like the sandwitch. Remeber the sandwitch? it's what we ate for lunch everyday before marijuana made it's presence known. Now even the sandwitch has been perverted beyond recognition. A sub is not a sandwitch. It's an abomination.
You must cleary see now the horrors marijuana has unleashed onto our great society. We must unite to eliminate this threat to wholesome living. And with it, we must also do away with the affiliate offenders. On the top of my list would be any resteraunt that has more than two items on the menu (the two nessisary items, of course, are "BLT", and "Steak and Potatoes"). And in their place, we should put churches. With such a great number of churches, we will be able to educate people on the dangers of immorality and drug abuse.
On a final note, I would just like to remind you that if you have ever smoked the evil of which i have been writing, may your soul be forever damned to the depths of hell, where the humidity is uncomfortable high, and air-conditioners are always 'sold out'.
Next week I will explain the horrors of wearing sandals, and how they cause stomach cancer!
Dr G. ¶ 11:45 AM
When 'high' (or stoned, as some drug abusers like to call it) the tactile, saporine, and olfactory senses are greatly heightened. Think for a moment of the potential trouble this could cause in the typical substance abuser. Lets start with the tactile senses. The marijuana user starts to notice textures more than usual and is physically stimulated by almost anything he touches. This often leads to the inapropriate physical contact between two or more offenders that can even lead to sexual feelings. And while the term 'sexual healing' is common among such circles, I can assure you no medical healing is taking place. These people are seeking the most selfish of sexual release, and due to the drug in question, that pleasure is not only greatly hightened, but also prolonged. This kind of super-sexual experience can easily lead to the kind of sexual addiction that is plaquing our youth.
What happened to the good old days (the 50`s) when people understood that sexual contact is simple evil manifesting itself in it's most decadant form. Back the people understood that sex could kill you, and even the most innocent kiss could impregnate young girls ruining their chance to ever find a decent husband. In the 50's, people didn't smoke marijuana, which allowed them to live a lifestyle based on good christian morals (chastity, obediance, and weekly church-based 'reeducation'). I believe when we abolish marijuana, we will be able to recreate the perfection of the 50's. Men will wear suits and hats (of the bowler or fedora variety) and women will wear non-revealing dresses (except when cooking dinner, where they will be naked and bare-foot).
But I digress, building a perfect society if a lofty task which must wait until the drug problem is solved in North America and George Bush Jr. is 'elected' Emperor of the world. So, let us get back to the way in which marijuana corrupts or saporine sense. The many tastes and textures of food are often taken for granted by the upstanding citezen (and they should be), but the drug abuser is a different story. They use words like connoisseur, aficionado, and gourmet. I use the word 'glutton'. These people develop such an 'appreciation' for eclectic foods that they start to think they are superior to those who enjoy good ol' meat and potatoes on a nightly basis. They can even become confused as to their own ethnicity and eat food from China, Thailand, or even Japan!!. Now i have to pose the question: what kind of terrorist would rather eat food from Asia over a hearty American classic like the sandwitch. Remeber the sandwitch? it's what we ate for lunch everyday before marijuana made it's presence known. Now even the sandwitch has been perverted beyond recognition. A sub is not a sandwitch. It's an abomination.
You must cleary see now the horrors marijuana has unleashed onto our great society. We must unite to eliminate this threat to wholesome living. And with it, we must also do away with the affiliate offenders. On the top of my list would be any resteraunt that has more than two items on the menu (the two nessisary items, of course, are "BLT", and "Steak and Potatoes"). And in their place, we should put churches. With such a great number of churches, we will be able to educate people on the dangers of immorality and drug abuse.
On a final note, I would just like to remind you that if you have ever smoked the evil of which i have been writing, may your soul be forever damned to the depths of hell, where the humidity is uncomfortable high, and air-conditioners are always 'sold out'.
Next week I will explain the horrors of wearing sandals, and how they cause stomach cancer!
Dr G. ¶ 11:45 AM
Comments:
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I don't smoke the stuff but it's been around for centuries, and if you think sex is evil you need councilling.
# posted by 
: 29/8/06 5:13 PM
: 29/8/06 5:13 PM
Boy am I glad you put SO much thought into your comment, though I'm not sure what point you wish to portray by saying "it's been around for centuries". Do you think it's ok because it's old? Hemlock is old too. I think you should smoke some of that.
By the way i am going to give you the benifit of the doubt here and assume that you have suffered a massive brain trauma recently and can no longer understand the concept of satire. That would also explain why you have posted anonymously, perhaps you have forgotten your own name.
For the sake of this conversation I'll call you 'Ed'. Well Ed, while my cohort (The Shalynator) made it clear that we appreciate responses, we would prefer responses from people capable of reading at a 5th grade level.
So Ed, thank you for reading.
I have enclosed a list of words, and definitions, that may help you understand this comment a little better.
sat‧ire
–noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (used throughout the article in question)
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
hem‧lock
–noun 1. a poisonous plant, Conium maculatum, of the parsley family, having purple-spotted stems, finely divided leaves, and umbels of small white flowers, used medicinally as a powerful sedative. I still suggest you smoke some.....
Dr G
By the way i am going to give you the benifit of the doubt here and assume that you have suffered a massive brain trauma recently and can no longer understand the concept of satire. That would also explain why you have posted anonymously, perhaps you have forgotten your own name.
For the sake of this conversation I'll call you 'Ed'. Well Ed, while my cohort (The Shalynator) made it clear that we appreciate responses, we would prefer responses from people capable of reading at a 5th grade level.
So Ed, thank you for reading.
I have enclosed a list of words, and definitions, that may help you understand this comment a little better.
sat‧ire
–noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (used throughout the article in question)
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
hem‧lock
–noun 1. a poisonous plant, Conium maculatum, of the parsley family, having purple-spotted stems, finely divided leaves, and umbels of small white flowers, used medicinally as a powerful sedative. I still suggest you smoke some.....
Dr G
Hey cool, you actually read it. I post anonymously because I'm too lazy and rather drunk to care otherwise. I've done all I can to forget my own name in the last few years so let me pretend for awhile eh?
I have to confess though, I didn't read the whole thing.. concentration ain't up to par anymore at least not after a few drinks on a rather useless birthday, so I suppose I missed at which point it became satirical. My name is a far cry from Ed and back when I used to give intellectual responses to conversations I got sh-t on for it pretty good. (Call me Geek, Nerd, whatever). I worked long and hard with a lot of booze to try and become stupid and personable. I accomplished stupid to a degree but personable is something I suppose I failed at ages ago.
I'll include a few definitions to describe myself;
Jack‧ass [noun]; the person who, in contrary, no longer cares. {eg, "He was a nice guy once, but lifed turned him into a jackass"}
A$$‧**** (should someone be offended) [noun] 1. what you turn into when the realization hits that if you don't act like one, everyone else will. 2. The descript act of what one turns into when they sell their soul for a paycheque.
way-too-serious [pro-noun(s) (of sorts)]- example, the person who posted the previous set of definitions.
I have to confess though, I didn't read the whole thing.. concentration ain't up to par anymore at least not after a few drinks on a rather useless birthday, so I suppose I missed at which point it became satirical. My name is a far cry from Ed and back when I used to give intellectual responses to conversations I got sh-t on for it pretty good. (Call me Geek, Nerd, whatever). I worked long and hard with a lot of booze to try and become stupid and personable. I accomplished stupid to a degree but personable is something I suppose I failed at ages ago.
I'll include a few definitions to describe myself;
Jack‧ass [noun]; the person who, in contrary, no longer cares. {eg, "He was a nice guy once, but lifed turned him into a jackass"}
A$$‧**** (should someone be offended) [noun] 1. what you turn into when the realization hits that if you don't act like one, everyone else will. 2. The descript act of what one turns into when they sell their soul for a paycheque.
way-too-serious [pro-noun(s) (of sorts)]- example, the person who posted the previous set of definitions.
# posted by : 30/8/06 10:28 PM
: 30/8/06 10:28 PM
Update to my previous post, I originally stopped reading halfway through the 50's paragraph, so I apologize, will shut my mouth, and read through before commenting henceforth.
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# posted by : 30/8/06 10:33 PM
: 30/8/06 10:33 PM<< Home
