Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Snakes on a plane....
Now I am not going to get in to the habit of reviewing movies on this site as this is in fact "cynical banter" not "Happy-Time movie reviews, with Gary!!". Snakes on a plane has proved to be quite out of the ordinary though, and needs a thorough examination. Roumors, clips, soundbites, and hype of all sorts surrounding this film have infected every form of media imagineable. Samuel L. Jacksons voice is so prevalent wherever i go, that the little voice in my head that tells me right from wrong is starting to sound like Sammy. All moral descisions are followed by a compelling urge to see snakes on a a plane?!
Well let's discuss the movie itself before it's impact on the world around us. The movie begins as many do with a crime witnessed by some kid who needs the protection of the great and powerful Sam Jackson. So Sammy has to escort this unlucky chap on a snake infested flight from hawaii to LA. To accompany them on this ill-fated flight is a group that seems to be a satirical twist on popular stereotypes (or maybe thats just how it comes across when you put so many stereotypes on a plane together?). While i am not going to ruin the surprise of HOW snakes ended upon the plane, sufficed to say, several hundred poisonous snakes make an appearance throughout the movie. Their attacks seem to come in convienient waves though. At first they show up in force, killing more than half of the passengers, many in humorous ways (think Cabin Fever's type of 'so bad its funny' deaths). Then all of a sudden a few suitcases are a sufficent barrier against the once-determined killing machines. This sort of cycle happens several times over the course of the film (as with other very noticable inconsistancies in continuity). No doubt, the highlight of 'snakes' is Samuel's "badassocity' or 'badassness' if you will. Such daring acts as climbing atop passenger seats while fending off snakes left and right with his trusty tazer, or shooting out the side of a plane so the snakes would be thrust from the plane during depressurization.
So, what is the big deal you ask? It sounds like 'andaconda part 14' doesn't it? Well in essence it is. Very little actually seperates 'snakes' from all the other 3rd rate 'evil animal' horror films. To my mind, the only thing that puts 'snakes' ahead of the others is its overbearing, and invasive ad campaign. The producers obviously knew how to capitalize on the popularity of Sammy, and injected soundbites of him praising the glory of his new movie. I believe this tactic will either catch on so well that it will be watered down and usless within 6 months, or never be seen again in fear of being associated with such overrated garbage.
If you enter the theatre expecting utter crap, you may be pleasently surprised with the off-key humor, and intensity of Jackson's performance. But unfortunately, if you have high expectations of "snakes on a plane" you may leave wishing you were among the lucky few who died less than 10 minutes into the film, thereby not having to endure 105 minutes of mind numbing 'horror'
Dr. Gagnon
"Bears on a Submarine?!?!" ¶ 10:56 AM
Well let's discuss the movie itself before it's impact on the world around us. The movie begins as many do with a crime witnessed by some kid who needs the protection of the great and powerful Sam Jackson. So Sammy has to escort this unlucky chap on a snake infested flight from hawaii to LA. To accompany them on this ill-fated flight is a group that seems to be a satirical twist on popular stereotypes (or maybe thats just how it comes across when you put so many stereotypes on a plane together?). While i am not going to ruin the surprise of HOW snakes ended upon the plane, sufficed to say, several hundred poisonous snakes make an appearance throughout the movie. Their attacks seem to come in convienient waves though. At first they show up in force, killing more than half of the passengers, many in humorous ways (think Cabin Fever's type of 'so bad its funny' deaths). Then all of a sudden a few suitcases are a sufficent barrier against the once-determined killing machines. This sort of cycle happens several times over the course of the film (as with other very noticable inconsistancies in continuity). No doubt, the highlight of 'snakes' is Samuel's "badassocity' or 'badassness' if you will. Such daring acts as climbing atop passenger seats while fending off snakes left and right with his trusty tazer, or shooting out the side of a plane so the snakes would be thrust from the plane during depressurization.
So, what is the big deal you ask? It sounds like 'andaconda part 14' doesn't it? Well in essence it is. Very little actually seperates 'snakes' from all the other 3rd rate 'evil animal' horror films. To my mind, the only thing that puts 'snakes' ahead of the others is its overbearing, and invasive ad campaign. The producers obviously knew how to capitalize on the popularity of Sammy, and injected soundbites of him praising the glory of his new movie. I believe this tactic will either catch on so well that it will be watered down and usless within 6 months, or never be seen again in fear of being associated with such overrated garbage.
If you enter the theatre expecting utter crap, you may be pleasently surprised with the off-key humor, and intensity of Jackson's performance. But unfortunately, if you have high expectations of "snakes on a plane" you may leave wishing you were among the lucky few who died less than 10 minutes into the film, thereby not having to endure 105 minutes of mind numbing 'horror'
Dr. Gagnon
"Bears on a Submarine?!?!" ¶ 10:56 AM
