Sunday, August 20, 2006
shopping, deals and discounts.....
Consumer reports, and tv's 'smart buying tips' have corrupted the consumer. There was a time when shopping meant going to find what you want to buy, and when found, people would purchase the item in question. Lately though, the media, and various other groups have started what i like to call the 'war on retailers'. They have convinced the customer that he is god, and sales people must bend over in his presence. He must always be right (even when wrong). He must have the lowest price AND the best service.
So to all of the god complex victims out there. You are not always right, in fact (due mostly to the internet) you are generally WRONG. Just because Joe Blow at consumer reports got sucked off by (insert brand name here) doesnt mean they make better products. Furthermore, sales people dont care if YOU dont like what we sell. You are not educating us when you come into our store and tell us about the competition. Just because Dan Rather told you that you are smarter than the people selling to you doesnt make it true. Where is YOUR million dollar corperation?! You get what you pay for people. Yes you will pay more for well known name brands, and there is a reason for that. Name brands have established themselves as reliable and/or better than the no-name wal-mart shit that will be broken within a week (two at best). Now i dont hate wal-mart, i just choose not to shop there often. wal-mart is obviously a chain that will outlast most. They have somehow found a way to exploit the general public and left them begging for more. Workers locked in at night, making next to nothing. Products that come pre-broken, even when brand new in the original box. They even profit off the mentally handicapped, parading them around as 'greeters' where their goofy antics delight the public.
And now that we are on the topic of the mentally handicapped, it is time people realize they are our social superiors. They are always happy, no matter what is going on. They can have fun with even the most menial tasks, and can cheer up even the most evil of blackened souls (excluding the unsanitary ones of course). We should be worshipping these people the way the Egiptians once worshipped cats. I think a good start would be a giant stature of the winner of the most gold medals in last years special olympics. A constant reminder that life is better when you have mittens pinned to your jacked year-round.
Final Thoughts:
1. When a customer responds with "just looking" rember that it really means "i have nothing better to do that waste your fucking time".
2. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms
The Doctor (G) ¶ 11:32 AM
So to all of the god complex victims out there. You are not always right, in fact (due mostly to the internet) you are generally WRONG. Just because Joe Blow at consumer reports got sucked off by (insert brand name here) doesnt mean they make better products. Furthermore, sales people dont care if YOU dont like what we sell. You are not educating us when you come into our store and tell us about the competition. Just because Dan Rather told you that you are smarter than the people selling to you doesnt make it true. Where is YOUR million dollar corperation?! You get what you pay for people. Yes you will pay more for well known name brands, and there is a reason for that. Name brands have established themselves as reliable and/or better than the no-name wal-mart shit that will be broken within a week (two at best). Now i dont hate wal-mart, i just choose not to shop there often. wal-mart is obviously a chain that will outlast most. They have somehow found a way to exploit the general public and left them begging for more. Workers locked in at night, making next to nothing. Products that come pre-broken, even when brand new in the original box. They even profit off the mentally handicapped, parading them around as 'greeters' where their goofy antics delight the public.
And now that we are on the topic of the mentally handicapped, it is time people realize they are our social superiors. They are always happy, no matter what is going on. They can have fun with even the most menial tasks, and can cheer up even the most evil of blackened souls (excluding the unsanitary ones of course). We should be worshipping these people the way the Egiptians once worshipped cats. I think a good start would be a giant stature of the winner of the most gold medals in last years special olympics. A constant reminder that life is better when you have mittens pinned to your jacked year-round.
Final Thoughts:
1. When a customer responds with "just looking" rember that it really means "i have nothing better to do that waste your fucking time".
2. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms
The Doctor (G) ¶ 11:32 AM
